Made the mistake of looking at my sister's profile. Big mistake. I'm an idiot.
She makes zero contact with me yet she seems all too excited to make contact with Ari. They talk, they hang out, they dance and worst of all Ari is encouraged to hang out with my niece and nephew. My sister is so happy that Ari loves her boy!
I am wretching in agony.
I'm sick with the reality. Sick that my sister trusts someone who has spoken so ill of my niece and nephew. Sick that there is so much ridiculous, fake trust between them.
I've hidden Ari's profile for this reason. Why do I look? Why can't I just not care?
What sort of glutton for punishment am I?
I can not reconcile all that transpires, mostly unspoken, between us. I am sick. I deserve better.
No matter how hard I try, I miss my family. I wish they could see me for who I am. I wish my family could see others for who they truly are.
I am so angry. I am so lost. I am incredibly changed by all of this. No matter what, nothing will ever be the same.
Love my wife, kids, in laws, friends, dogs and cats. Just want to get over it.
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